I haven't posted in awhile, despite still doing family home evening regularly. We had a particularly successful one recently and I thought I'd share. I got the topic idea from reading this book*. Nicholeen Peck talked about a problem solving technique she uses with her kids and I wanted to share it with mine. It's an acrostic using the word SODAS.
Situation - what is the problem?
Options - brainstorm all the options. don't discount any of them.
Disadvantages - list the disadvantages for each option
Advantages - list the advantages for each option
Solution - choose the solution that you think it best, now that you've compared advantages and disadvantages
I taught them what each step means and then we went through an example. I had cupcakes for dessert that night so our example problem was:
Situation: Mom has a lot of cupcakes and I'd like to have one.
I had everyone volunteer information for the rest of the steps. We came up with something like:
Options: 1) I could whine at her to get one
2) I could ask politely to get one
3) I could grab them all and run
4) I could hope she'll give me one but not ask for one
Disadvantages:
1a) mom probably won't like whining and I might get a negative consequence
1b) I might not get a cupcake
1c) Whining makes me and others grumpy
2a) I might not get a cupcake
3a) I might get in trouble for being greedy
3b) I might trip and fall and ruin all the cupcakes
3c) I might feel sick after eating too many cupcakes
4a) Mom might not know I want a cupcake and I won't get one
Advantages:
1a) Mom knows I want a cupcake, so she might give me one
2a) Mom knows I want a cupcake, so she might give me one
2b) Since I was so polite, I might get rewarded with 2 cupcakes
3a) I will most likely get a cupcake
3b) I will be in charge of the cupcakes and I could decide to share or eat as many as I want
3c) I could probably use the cupcakes as leverage to get my siblings to do things for me
4a) I won't be bothering anyone
Solution: I went around the table and asked everyone to show me the solution they chose with their actions. Everyone had fun asking politely and getting a cupcake! (except daddy, who tried to take them all and run- the joker)
I have since used this technique with my kids when they have trouble following directions or making good choices. The other night I did a verbal SODAS with my 6-year-old daughter about keeping the play room clean. She is my hardest to get to follow directions but she really likes doing these with me - coming up with all the options and thinking about the advantages and disadvantages (and my 4-year old daughter likes chiming in too). It was really great!
*That book had a lot of great information to offer, but I had big issues with the way it was written and organized. I wish she would have let me proof read it for her first!
