FHE: Problem Solving SODAS

I haven't posted in awhile, despite still doing family home evening regularly.  We had a particularly successful one recently and I thought I'd share.  I got the topic idea from reading this book*.  Nicholeen Peck talked about a problem solving technique she uses with her kids and I wanted to share it with mine.  It's an acrostic using the word SODAS.

Situation - what is the problem?
Options - brainstorm all the options.  don't discount any of them.
Disadvantages - list the disadvantages for each option
Advantages - list the advantages for each option
Solution - choose the solution that you think it best, now that you've compared advantages and disadvantages

I taught them what each step means and then we went through an example.  I had cupcakes for dessert that night so our example problem was:

Situation: Mom has a lot of cupcakes and I'd like to have one.

I had everyone volunteer information for the rest of the steps.  We came up with something like:

Options:  1) I could whine at her to get one
              2) I could ask politely to get one
              3) I could grab them all and run
              4) I could hope she'll give me one but not ask for one
Disadvantages:
              1a) mom probably won't like whining and I might get a negative consequence
              1b) I might not get a cupcake
              1c) Whining makes me and others grumpy
              2a) I might not get a cupcake
              3a) I might get in trouble for being greedy
              3b) I might trip and fall and ruin all the cupcakes
              3c) I might feel sick after eating too many cupcakes
              4a) Mom might not know I want a cupcake and I won't get one
Advantages:
              1a) Mom knows I want a cupcake, so she might give me one
              2a) Mom knows I want a cupcake, so she might give me one
              2b) Since I was so polite, I might get rewarded with 2 cupcakes
              3a) I will most likely get a cupcake
              3b) I will be in charge of the cupcakes and I could decide to share or eat as many as I want
              3c) I could probably use the cupcakes as leverage to get my siblings to do things for me
              4a) I won't be bothering anyone
Solution: I went around the table and asked everyone to show me the solution they chose with their actions.  Everyone had fun asking politely and getting a cupcake! (except daddy, who tried to take them all and run- the joker)

I have since used this technique with my kids when they have trouble following directions or making good choices.  The other night I did a verbal SODAS with my 6-year-old daughter about keeping the play room clean.  She is my hardest to get to follow directions but she really likes doing these with me - coming up with all the options and thinking about the advantages and disadvantages (and my 4-year old daughter likes chiming in too).  It was really great!

*That book had a lot of great information to offer, but I had big issues with the way it was written and organized.  I wish she would have let me proof read it for her first!

FHE: Team Work

Today we talked about working together as a family and being a team and the benefits thereof.  We talked about how when we are all waiting for one person to be reverent before family prayer, that is not being a team.  We talked about when we clean up after ourselves, we are being a team.  My 5-year old got to play with a parachute in gym today and we talked about how everyone has to cooperate for it to be fun.  Also, it's not fun to play a board game unless everyone cooperates with the rules.  Then we all played Mario World 3D and practiced waiting for the slower people and playing as a team.

FHE: Songs On the Go

Our foreign exchange student had a special dinner tonight to celebrate the end of her cross country season, so we had to drop her off at that, but it was a 20 minute drive each way, so that pretty much ate up all of our FHE time.  We decided to take turns choosing our favorite children's hymns to sing there and back. It was fun!  I think the kids sang better (i.e. tried to sing at all) than they normally do :)

Maybe I should have read them the verse about "a song of the heart is a prayer unto me", I think D&C 25:12

FHE: The Tower of Babel

I just read them the story of the tower of babel from the Old Testament Stories book while we ate dinner.  Then after dinner, we built our own towers out of toothpicks and marshmallows.  We divided into 2 groups and set a timer to see who could build the tallest one.  We ended up with a tie :)  The kids ate some marshmallows while they built for a treat, but some of us put them in a bowl and microwaved them and added chocolate sauce on top.

I asked my 5 year old to retell me the story while we had dessert to see if she remembered, she did!

Very fun!

FHE: Reverence

We did this one awhile ago, but I felt like it was pretty effective and the kids really liked it, so I want to remember it.

We had a talent show where everyone got to show-off a trick for everyone else.  (they LOVED that.  They were all silly tricks.)

After, we talked about how they would feel if when they were performing, people were talking or not watching.  Or, how they feel when they are trying to watch, and other people are talking and they can't hear.   Then we related that to their behavior during Sacrament meeting or Primary- trying to help them see why it's important to be reverent, even if they don't want to listen, other people may and it's rude to distract from the person who has prepared something to share with everyone.

FHE: Attitude of Gratitude

First we sang "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet" and then I asked everyone if they could guess what we were going to talk about, based on those lyrics.  Eventually someone guessed being grateful :)

We then had a grateful race and we broke into 3 teams of 2 people and tried to think of as many things as we could that we are grateful for in 2 minutes.  Then we counted them up and the team with the least number went first.  If you had the same thing on your list, you crossed them off, etc. until everyone had read every unique thing they were grateful for.

We then talked about how a great way to feel better when  upset, frustrated or angry is to stop and think about our blessings.  We came up with a code word so that during this week, if anyone was upset or angry, we could use our code word to kindly remind them to say something they are grateful for in that moment, to help cheer them up!  We decided the code word would be "but at least..."  Then we all took turns practicing pretending to cry and then someone would remind them with the code word, and they'd stop crying and say, "but at least I... get to have a cupcake tonight!"

Hopefully it works!

FHE: Actions Speak Louder than Words

I just told them that phrase and we dissected it.

"What is an action?"
"Do actions say anything about us and our desires?"

And we went over some examples of when actions and desires don't line up.

My kids are notorious for not staying in their seats during dinner.  It is soo frustrating!! I can't tell you how many times I throw their food away and then they come back in crying and wondering where their food is...
"What if you leave the kitchen table during dinner... Do those actions say you are still wanting to eat?  What should you do to show you want to continue eating your food?"

"What does grabbing a toy away from someone else say about you and the way you like to play?"  (I don't care about others' feelings and I don't mind if people grab things away from me that I am using.)

"How do you show appreciation with actions?"  (You can clear your own plate at dinner-time to say thank you for making my food.  You can follow directions the first time when asked.  You can clean up your toys and take care of things you want to keep and use for a long time.  You can go to bed quickly to show appreciation for bed-time stories.  You can share with people who share with you...)

"What if you say you want to come with me on an errand, but you don't use the toilet, get on your shoes and coat, and buckle yourself into the car right away...  Do your actions say you want to come?  What kind of actions would say you want to come?"

Etc.

We all committed to trying to make our actions match what we intended to say that week.

Then we played 2 board games, which the kids loved!

FHE: Fire Safety

I basically just did this lesson again.  Thought it was a good idea since we have moved since then and my daughter would not have remembered last time.  Practice was key to making it fun :)  and it was :)

FHE: Trust

We have had issues with our kids telling the truth lately, and we wanted to demonstrate why it's important to always tell the truth so that you will gain a reputation of trustworthiness.

This was a simple exercise but also very effective.

Daddy put a piece of candy in one of his hands behind his back and showed me which hand had candy.  Then he put his hands out front and said that the kids had to guess, and that I knew where it was.  After the kids had decided on a hand, I incorrectly told them which hand had candy in it.  They trusted me and then didn't get the candy.  We did it again.  Again, I told them the wrong hand, and again they trusted me and didn't get the candy.  The third time, I told the kids the correct hand that really had candy in it, but the kids didn't believe me and chose the wrong hand again.

My son got very upset and said, "MOM!  I'm never trusting you again!!" and this was a great way for me to talk about some times during the week when the kids didn't tell the truth and how I feel like I can no longer trust them.  We talked a bit more about how we have to be honest for the world to function properly - there needs to be trust for everyday business transactions etc.

In the end, we all promised to tell the truth all the time.

FHE: Why Keep the Commandments

Tonight I used President Uchdorf's talk from the General Womens Meeting as inspiration.  He gave the analogy that the Lord is constantly showering down blessings and we block them with an umbrella of sin.

Tonight over dinner, I asked the kids about why Heavenly Father gives commandments.  (because he loves us and wants us to be happy)  Then I pointed out that some commandments have natural consequences that are blessings like keeping the Word of Wisdom keeps us healthier, or being kind to others helps them be kind to us.  Then I asked them about other commandments that may not have obvious, immediate blessings tied to them.  (Like tithing, fasting...)

I had 5 balloons blown up and I told the kids they are blessings we get from Heavenly Father.  I asked them to list 5 blessings and then wrote them down on the balloons.  (I think we did "Family Forever", "Inspiration from the Holy Ghost", "Knowledge and Truth", "Health", and "Financial and Temporal Security")  We gave each child an umbrella and then, Jay and I pretended to be Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother and said things like, "let's give our children inspiration from the Holly Ghost!" and in order to put their umbrella down to "get" the blessing, they had to say what commandment they would follow to get that blessing.

We sang "Keep the Commandments" at the beginning and "Count Your Blessings" at the end.

I think it went over really well!

FHE: Follow the Prophet

Yikes!  We moved over the summer!!  We've been having FHE, but I haven't been documenting it!!  (We didn't have internet for about 6 weeks)  I'll try my best to do a bit of remembering but....

September 8th, we took some chocolate zucchini muffins to all our new neighbors to introduce ourselves.  So glad we did.  I admit was terrified, but it was really a great idea.

September 15th, we talked to the kids about "We reap what we sow" over dinner and we just happened to have had a plumber and our landlord there at the time and it ended up in a lengthy discussion between our landlord and us about Mormonism and what we believe.  It was really awesome!  (and I think the plumber was eavesdropping :D)

September 22nd, I was feeling overwhelmed about a gigantic pile of laundry that needed folding, and decided to teach the kids (6, 4, and almost 2) how to fold laundry and we played a game where we put clothes on from the basket in a silly way and ran them over to the piles and fold them.  It got kind of crazy and only a little bit actually got folded, but I think the kids had fun and we spent time together as a family, right?

Tomorrow, I'm planning to talk about "Follow the Prophet" as a precursor to conference this weekend.  We are going to make sure everyone knows who the prophet is, what a prophet is, and we are going to play a game where one person is blindfolded and someone else helps them with instructions to put a puzzle or a toy together or something.  Then we will play "Follow the Leader" or "The Prophet (Simon) Says"  and the leader will have a picture of the prophet.

update: we did the puzzle thing and it occurred to me after that it probably would have been more effective to have someone try to put the puzzle together by themselves blind-folded and then have someone help them after so they could see how much easier it is when you follow the instructions.

FHE: Bible Stories

Today was super crazy, and last week was spent sick, so I'm quite behind on my planning.  We just whipped out this lift-the-flap bible stories book we have and read through some of the stories and talked about what we can learn from them.  Then we played "hide the sunglasses".  The object that you hide can be anything. Peach decided what we would hide today.

The kids had so much fun with the activity last week they asked what it was today, and I think it is important that we do them every week.  I wish I was better at thinking about activities that are relevant to our lesson.

FHE: Child Led from Gospel Art Book

This month, The Frog picked the picture "with the volcano", the one on pg 20 "Elijah contends against the priests of Baal".  My husband told the story behind the picture and then we played Sardines.  They loved it!  (daddy hid last and nobody could find him...)

FHE: The Power of Prayer

I asked them: Is Prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?  We asked them about what that might mean, and then explained what it means.

They didn't know what a spare tire was, and so we told them, and how each of us has only ever used one a couple of times. The steering wheel must be used every time you want to go anywhere.  We should pray every day, rather than only in emergencies.

FHE: Faith is like a seed

We just talked about faith and how it's like a seed.  We had little flower pots & seeds I got at Target for $1.  (sorry so short.  I'm retroactively writing these down and I don't remember many details)

FHE: Child Led from Gospel Art Book

This week, The Frog asked about the picture on page 16- "Moses and the brass serpent".  Jay told the story behind it.

FHE: Holy Week

I've been meaning to try and make the week before Easter more focused on Christ and have wanted to start some kind of tradition.  This year I am going to read each of these on each day during dinner and talk about the questions and maybe do some of the activities that I think are particularly poignant with the kids.  For Monday, we grabbed dinner at some food trucks and then drove to the temple and talked about this from the parking lot.  Then we sang "I love to see the temple" on the drive home.

FHE: Bearing Each Other's Burdens

I basically copied this lesson making it more of a "be helpful" emphasis, rather than an atonement/sin emphasis.  I made sure to only write burdens my kids could relate to on the cans.  The kids all really wanted to try carrying the burdens upstairs by themselves.  My 3-year old and 5-year old were able to carry all 10 cans by themselves, though quite difficult for the 3-year old.  However, I think they still understood that it's easier if we all help out.

It was fun and a great analogy.  We'll see if I can bring it up during the week to really get it to stick.  I could see doing this again with older kids and making it more about the burden of sin (which I didn't focus on, since young kids can't really sin...)

FHE: Forgiveness

I just read this story from the March 2014 Friend and we talked about it while the kids ate their treats.  I think it went over pretty well, but I'm still waiting for them to ACT more kindly...

FHE: Baptism

I decided to try letting my 5-year-old be in charge of FHE tonight.  He looked through the April Friend magazine that we got today and chose pg 7 to talk about.  It's about baptism.  So I told them all about being baptized, and we even practiced getting baptized with daddy in the family room :)  We talked about the symbolism of wearing white, and what promises are made and how it relates to the sacrament.  We also talked about getting the gift of the Holy Ghost and why we want it.

Then, my son said he wanted to make play a memory game.  We made it by printing off this sheet twice, and cutting all the pictures apart.  (you could also just google "lds bingo" and do the same thing with one of those bingo cards.)  My 5 and 3-year olds both really loved it!  I'm sure we'll do it again for an activity.